Beer! Humorous Quotes to Live By from Famous People

My favorite beer quote is the one from W.C. Fields, below.

Beer

“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver.” ~ Babe Ruth

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” ~ Paul Horning

“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” ~ H. L. Mencken

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.  So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” ~ Dave Barry

“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.” ~ W. C. Fields

Remember “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser, and Meidroth! ~ Professor Irwin Corey

“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group. Salvation in a can.” ~ Leo Durocher

 

During an episode of Cheers, a TV Sitcom, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson:

“Well, ya see, Norm, it’s like this … A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

“This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.  In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

“That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

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1 Comment:


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